Paps. Bro. Would you take a hometown discount?
October 21, 2007
Let’s say he blows out his arm this off-season playing wiffle ball, rehabs, then returns to the mound for the Red Sox in 2009. First outing back, he goes double Dave Dravecky (you’d really have to see it) and everyone says, “Wow, he could’ve been really something.” He retires, Eric Gagne makes several All-Star appearances, and the world forgets the name Papelbon. In 2013, he is ready to return for the league minimum, if any team can overlook his amputation.
Despite the t-shirt, this is the only scenario in which John Papelbon ever signs with the Milwaukee Brewers.